Mindfulness in Sexuality:
I believe that we all want to feel a depth of connection with our significant other…and yet, for the most part, many of us have not been shown how to access that. Often we think that sex alone will get us there….as it really is the most naked we will get with another. However, if our sex doesn’t include emotionally connecting we will get but skin deep. And harder and faster isn’t the road. So what are these deeper layers that we crave? What is intimacy…if it isn’t sex? And how do we get there.
I do believe it’s a great blight on our culture that we haven’t been given the skill sets and education to navigate to the depths possible with another as many other cultures have. One of the learnings that I have pursued is Tantra, which is little more than mindfulness within sexuality. How can we slow down enough to be fully present with ourselves and our experience, and with another. How can we let go of the fears and taboos that cloud our capacity to fully connect. How do we begin to feel comfortable within such a vulnerable space. See, deeply connected, intimate sex is more than getting naked physically, it’s about stripping ourselves bare. Feeling and creating the space of safety for such an unfurling. To sit face to face and drink in the moment, to fully witness our other and ourselves as we dance the sublime reality of the present.
Now all of this might sound a bit wu wu….but I’ve been there and I’ve witnessed and guided countless others enter into such states of being. As Esther Perel states, “Sex is an experience. Not something you do but a place that you go.” So the question is, ‘what do you want to experience there?’ But know that if you want to experience the heights of what is possible within sex, sexuality, intimacy and connection, there are skills to help build such a space. Skills that go beyond the possibility of explaining within a short blog post. But all of which are aimed at bringing you mindfully into the present moment. It is where we take the skill set of mindfulness and bringing it into the realms of sexuality.
The meaning of the word Tantra is to expand awareness. Tantra is about a way of being, it is not just about sex. It’s where we get curious and get connected, encompassing the whole of life. Where we challenge and expand what more might be possible within our time on the planet. It’s about living fully, it’s about loving fully, self, other and the world.
If you’re curious, I regularly present Tantra education workshops for women, men and couples. Please follow the workshop link located on the home page for details of upcoming events. I also offer this education in private consultations and within the Bespoke Couple retreats, if a group process isn’t your thing.
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